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I did'nt know it was her till after we had sex and I had unloaded a huge wad deep inside her, she was on top the whole time.

If you’re anything like I was, you’ll think that you’re the one they’re being honest with. Of course some base their reasoning on a complex framework of lies and so will stubbornly cling to their lies, because to let go, would be to place the responsibility and accountability on themselves that they seek to dodge. You got played, even though they may deny it and claim that they really meant to cut you in, but something came up, or you ‘did’ something, or some other lame excuse. Don’t get me wrong – they’ll have done their wheeler-dealing, lying, omission, and even pressuring, but you knew that there were a lot of things wrong with this situation and you’ve also lied to yourself. My anger and indignation gradually gave way to grudging and then welcomed responsibility when I realised that I’d known what I was dealing with – I had just hoped to be exempt.

Some of you may have actually started out feeling like you were the more ‘powerful’ party in this. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow but it will be soon enough unless you’re pulling an ostrich and holding on tight come rain, hail, shine, or the next decade. If you’re still angry about the fact that you’re not still with them while they cheat, or are angry that they haven’t left, you’re missing the point – it was an affair.

It’s difficult under these circumstances not to get a bit, if not a lot, twitchy. There’s an over-correlation that happens with affairs, much like it happens when we meet someone who possesses certain qualities or characteristics and we assume that they possess others and that they’re ‘right’ for us.

With affairs, we over-correlate our presence in one and assume that it’s because of a connection, ‘chemistry’, deep feelings, ‘fate’ etc.

Now that the tables have turned on you and you not only haven’t ‘won’, but in fact seem to have left some of your sense of self on the table, how much is it going to help you to be a victim?

There’s no peace or growth in claiming helplessness and that you’ve been robbed – you can’t call it a robbery because it hasn’t turned out how you’d liked, when you were calling it ‘love’ when you thought it would go your way.

The same qualities and characteristics that enabled you to have an affair with them, are the very ones that they’ll use to cut you out or at least lead you down some blind alley’s. This means taking the focus off them and positively putting it on you – this experience was a sign that you don’t love you enough and need to deal with whatever you’re avoiding. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.